woke up tis morning and realise that i was really super mean when i type e post yesterday...tink y i type tt post was all bcos i was jus angry. u noe 气话. but aft a second thought i realise tt was how i was felt..all e words were frm e bottom of my heart...decided to take tt post away cos i feel tt i shldnt b so mean aft all...cos if i'm in tt situation i really do hope i'm nt alone, n if i'm going to face all tis alone i tink i will jus kill myself...so i decided nt to abandon u. although i duno if i'm really tt impt to u tt u will nid to have me so u could survive tis obstacles...but sometimes i will tink i care so much abt u but do u care even abt me??? i really duno. but still i will jus stay by ur side, so at least when u nid me u can find me...[mayb i'm jus too thick-skinned]

我多么想走进你紧锁的心海. tt's how i feel now la...i really wan to noe wat u are tinkin right now. 曾经热络到失去联络.nothin frm u...e one who used to understand u e mos to one who understand u e least...how much i have to bear wif to face tis fact esp. when i get to noe wat happenin to u frm other ppl while i am e one who used to tell others abt u...e sudden change cause me unable to take it. but realise i gt used to it le...going to sch n home alone...but though i'm used to it but i do hope i will nt b alone la...but i duno how nt to b. it is like so difficult.

my las post which i haf deleted but decided to put up again:
"Saying a goodbye to all my beautiful memories...
today aft all i made a decision to say goodbye. it wasnt easy at all...
i spent like duno how long to make a simple decision like tis...
n to realise tt i was e silly one..as always. but believing in e fact but living in self-denier... i decided to jus escaped for tt world i used to live in as i noe i will b better off as i leave tt place.

it is all bcos u made me super angry wif u so too bad. now i understand wat shan mean by 以牙还牙... u can onli count urself bad luck cos u 惹火了我...for now i don care abt u..if u live or die...who cares? no matter how u r feelin right now i don care anymore...no matter how sad or angry or even happy u r....i will jus leave u alone. n if u really come n look for me..i will care...i will jus put in my 40% effort to help u...cos i cannot gif all cos i noe i will nt have any 回报. mayb i MIGHT be impt to u...but i sense i don so..i will nt expect any return frm u... so BYE. n i will go make my new friend-->Study. haha. ur problems i will hack care cos u don affect my future...too bad i'm jus so mean cos i'm really super pissed wif u n myself.

u guys might say i shldnt bcos of one thing then it affect my attitude towards other things..but jus too bad..i am changing my attitude towards my friends...if u r angry/sad l leave u alone..i will nt ask wat happen...i will jus keep quiet n if u do wan to talk to me...jus aproach me...i will listen..i decided nt to 付出 b4 u really show e need of me...

因我知道我们回不到过去了，所以我才决定让这一个经历成为我人生最美好的回忆。 "

-----总觉得自己是个三心二意的人------